I know it's been a good while since I have written, again. I have kept myself as busy as possible this summer. I haven't wanted to let myself think too much on the negative. So, I have been throwing myself head first into helping my husband open his own business. I admit that it has helped me to keep my mind from straying to sad things most of the time, but it hasn't worked 100% of the time. In those times that keeping busy hasn't kept my mind from wandering, I have realized that all of the babies that were conceived around the time of my little Harper are now born.
Knowing that my baby should be in my arms now hurts, and I miss her as much today as I did the day I had to say goodbye. It also makes me miss my other sweet angels. I can only hope that they know how much I miss and love them, and that I always will. They were loved and wanted from before they were even conceived. At least they have the comfort in each other, since they weren't able to be with me. And I can hope and pray that at least one or two of them are given the chance to try and come back to me in this life. Until then, I will throw myself into my husband and our business.
Opening a business from scratch has been an exciting, albeit trying, time in my life. Even though I studied some business in College (University), I didn't realize how many hoops a person must jump through just to open the doors. There is so much paperwork, licenses, accounting, purchasing, etc. that sometimes I lose track of what needs to be done next. All I can say is that it will all be worth it once we are open for business, and making it truly successful will open up a whole new world for our family. Making a successful business will allow us to really start to pursue IVF, buy our dream house, be closer to our family members, and so much more.
So here I go; back into paperwork and projects. Wish us luck, and pray that we find success. I will get these doors open, and try not to focus on missing my winged babies too much.
