It's been a bit of a stressful week in my household. As the saying goes, it always seems that when it rains, it pours; and it has been pouring, both figuratively and literally at my house. Between preparing taxes, trying to buy a new house, Vin's work moving locations, changing health insurance, horrible weather, and the normal craziness that occurs; we've been a bit overwhelmed as of lately. So what do I do when I am getting too stresses? Listen to music.
I grew up in a household where music was a way of life. My mother clung to her older "hippie music" as I called it, and my father was a Disc Jockey. Instead of traditional stories and lullabies, I was told about the Beatles and Journey, and sung songs like "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" and "Mighty Quinn." My parents had a deep love for lyrics and melodies, and I inherited that trait. Because of their tutelage, I found my own love of and expression through music.
Sometimes music really does get you through the rough patches. I am a firm believer that once in a while you just need to put the headphones on, turn up the music, and let the emotions flow. Whether it be sitting there crying to sad songs, or dancing around the room to a hit; it helps to express your feelings. And there is always the right song for every mood!
During my miscarriage, I balled my eyes out to the Fray a LOT! "You Found Me" held a lot of meaning for me. I was begging my baby to hang on and find me. I still well up when this song comes on my playlist, but even though I still get a bit emotional with this song... it's good. Mayday Parade also helped during those early days, whether it was crying to "Walk On Water Or Drown," or trying to cheer myself up with "Jamie All Over" which happens to be one of Hub's and my songs.
Now that I am at least to the anger part of the healing, I am leaning more towards a bit harder forms of rock. Some big ones on my playlist right now are Three Days Grace (3DG), Breaking Benjamin (BB), and Imagine Dragons. I have always loved 3DG; so many of their songs hold meaning for me, and they always help me get my aggression out. So many times, I have found the words to express my emotions through 3DG.
Now some my laugh at me, but Breaking Benjamin's "Diary of Jane" has always been a special song of mine. My husband used to say that this was his song to me when I was keeping him in the "friend zone," but now we have found a new meaning for this song. Our new interpretation to this song has become trying to have that Child, to be in that "diary." If you know this song, you can see our meaning. Always struggling, never getting in.
Finally, another band that has recently caught my ear is Imagine Dragons. "Radioactive" has newly become my personal battle cry for my loss. If you haven't heard it... listen to it. The lyrics discuss waking up to "ash and dust," how this must be an apocalypse, and revolution against it. For some reason, this completely describes how I am getting through since waking up after having to go through my D&C. I woke up to a different world, in my own "apocalypse," and that with everything that has change for the worse... I am on my own revolution, and I will fight for my dreams.
With all the stress life has brought on lately, stress has been a close companion. Thank God my MP3 player and headphones have been there too. I would be in a lot fouler of a mood if it weren't for my music. If you feel up to it, let me know what music speaks to you.
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