And I'm not alone...

Thank you to all of the people that have been reading my blog.  I won't say it feels good to have you; because that means that most of you have either had a miscarriage, or that someone that is important to you has.  I will just say that I feel less alone.  We are all part of the Angel making club, and no we don't have a secret handshake.

Well, the husband and I have gotten our business open, and we are already bringing in business.  We are in mid move, which means that ALL of the stuff I want always seems to be where ever I'm not.  AND... I just celebrated endured another birthday. Yeah, once I hit 29 it was all down hill!  LOL.  So a lot has gone on, and I have barely had time to keep up.  Only once did I really slip and let myself dwell on the bad.

It hit me like a ton of bricks a couple of weeks ago.  It was early September, and I realized that my first babies, my twins, would have been turning four at about that time... and that I would have also had a two-year-old, and a newborn.  It was hard for a few hours; but I let myself feel the pain, I told the their momma loved them still, and that one day I will see them again.  After that, I picked myself up and moved on.

I can only hope that one or more of my babies will choose to come back to me in this life, and if it's not meant to be... then I have some beautiful guardian angels looking out for me.  It makes me realize how blessed I am that I have so many people and angels that care about me in this life.  And, I also have hundreds more that understand what I am going though, which form a world wide community of understanding.

I know we are all hurt by the loss of our precious angels, but we do have our memories of the joy we felt for them (even if it is tinged with sadness).  Most of us have supportive family and friends, that are there for us during our rough patches of healing.  We have hope of future pregnancy and parenting success.  Not to mention, we have each other. We have something our mothers didn't have.  Miscarriage and infertility are not as taboo as they were just a decade ago.  We have the ability to speak out, connect with others that know our pain, and embrace the roles of mothers... having to live life without their children.  And I am not alone...